Dream Big

February 2nd, 2009-
I signed up with the recruitment officers today. The fear and anxiety has completely overwhelmed me. I remember wanting it so bad and it ended in heartbreak. I want this so badly but I can't give the world a concrete reason as to why. The girls seemed sweeter to both Jessica and I which is good. I am just so anxiety ridden and nervous already. Am I crazy for putting myself through this again? My little voice keeps reminding me that I have wanted this since summer and I will regret it if I don't go for it.


February 5th, 2009-


I regret watching The Bachelor that other night. I have so much empathy that I think seeing rejection on TV made me freak out. I went to the tea party today. It was OK. Jill, my good friend is rushing also and didn't hesitate to help me out at the party. The other girls weren't the typical sorority girls which was comforting. I know a lot of administrators want me to get in so that is good. I have my interview Monday and I think that will be my strong suit. All I can say is that I really want this.


February 11th, 2009-


I had my interview on Monday. I made them choke up so it went well. They sent me an e-mail asking about what it would be like to have me in their sorority. Questions about how my assistants would fit in, best way to contact me, etc. I can't help but take this as a good sign. Getting that e-mail made everything so incredibly real. It's scary when you realize this could really happen even if it is a wonderful thing. It's also scary because strong emotions are involved now (sorry, been watching the Bachelor, it's frequently what they say on the show). But seriously, I am now truly emotionally invested.


I attend the Everything Goes With Pink recruitment event tonight. It's another opportunity for the women to get to know me. As I was walking to dinner, one of the women who interviewed me greeted me with a hug and said that I would meet the national president of Phi Mu. I was quite flattered. This probably means they are talking about me and impressed by me. I am excited and curious and still a little nervous because it could still end in heartbreak. Jill, my friend is coming over to help me with last minute details so I feel confident and look great. I have a great friend in Jill.

February 13th- In a few minutes, I will find out. Yesterday's party went great. The chapter consultant said to me, we should have lunch next week and see you tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I will get recruited. When I was getting dressed this morning, I turned on the radio and I Hope You Can Dance and I thought of all of you because the montage I received on my 16th birthday was to that song. I started getting all choked up because I thought of all of you back home. I know you would want this for me if you were here. I will have a bite to eat then go to Desiree's office and find out. I DID IT...


I am a Phi Mu!!!!


I waited in line for fifteen minutes. Then Desiree opened my envelope and it said I had been invited to the new member ceremony.

I am truly proud of myself. I am thrilled. I did it. It was not a Special Education goal, it was not a therapy goal, it was MY goal. So many times people make goals for me. They are what I need but not exactly what's in my heart. This was my goal and I did it. It feels so rewarding because nobody suggested it or helped me like in the past. When I felt doubtful, I would always think, I'm going to be OK because I have you all and you make life terrific. I am so happy right now. This is a dream come true!

I hope I have inspired you to DREAM BIG! If you don't take risks then you are missing out on something great and if it does not turn out, I can be a shoulder to cry on. Go for your dreams! I will end this post with a song.

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway
You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway
God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway I do it anyway
This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway
You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway
God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yea - I do it anyway
You can pour your soul out singin
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea, sing it anyway
Yeah, yeah!
I sing
I dream
I love anyway
- Martina McBride


I may do a mini blog to explain everything because it's difficult to understand if you are not a Phi Mu and I don't know everything yet.

I am really happy!

Your Phi Mu,
Hannah!