Who knew! Who knew? Who knew! Who knew? This year has been incredible! I came here with goals and I accomplished them! A year ago we, no, you were so nervous about me going to college and now look, I did it! I can live independently. Hallelujah! However, as I think about going home, I am extremely frustrated and sad. It's as if someone said you can have independence and learn how to cope with the struggles of being independent BUT you have to go back and live like you did nine months ago.
Over the past few weeks, this has been a really big struggle for me. It's not that I don't love my parents or David and Genevieve but going back means living dependently. This is really hard for me to realize because I have been in charge of my life and now as I put it, I will be on Thompson time. This is reality. I love my family as you all know. However we all are aware that the transition will be difficult for ALL of us. We are prepared as a family to adapt and get through this. Another thing we are prepared for is figuring out what my new medical condition is.
Yea...that was a fun little surprise. Back in March, I started spontaneously gagging. I didn't really think anything of it because it happened few and far between. But then it started happening frequently. I had to write the e-mail that I never wanted to write. Something was wrong. You have to understand, when you have all these things going on in your body, you can't freak out immediately, you have to wait then you start telling people. Anyway, Mom has started to call doctors and we'll see what happens. This is where I have to say thank God I am coming home. I can be adequately supported at home and I have so much love there. As you could imagine, I wasn't planning on this or having to write about this in my blog but this blog is for the truth as joyous as it may be or as painful as it may be. I know I have to have faith that this will get better. Plus, I have you all to keep me strong and positive, that is so important to me. Before I end this blog, I have two much happier things to talk about. First, I have many people to thank.
People to thank:
My Assistants:
You all have made this year amazing for me. I want to thank each of you individually.
Kim: Kim comes from 8:45-2:00. She gets me dressed, feeds me breakfast, showers me, does my laundry, runs errands for me, scans my books, and other stuff that makes my day go smoothly. I have fallen in love with this woman and she is going to be going through a difficult summer and I hope she knows just how much I love her.
Jessica: She comes Monday, Tuesday and Thursday nights. She feeds me dinner, gives me unconditional support, walks on the treadmill with me and puts me to bed. She has been absolutely amazing in everything. She is my rock. I feel comfortable crying around her because she has never-ending empathy. We get into a lot of funny situations and every moment with her is wonderful.
Valerie: Valerie comes for Wednesday night dinners and Friday nights. She is my cutie pie. She is dependable and fun. I trusted Valerie to take me to a Phi Mu sleepover and she didn't make me regret that huge decision a bit. Valerie has become one of my good friends and I couldn't love the girl anymore.
Kelly: Kelly comes to put me to bed Wednesdays. She comes from Glenview and I respect her for choosing to make her day even longer by helping me. Also, when I do need something from home, Kelly always brings it to me with a smile on her face.
Megan: Megan comes Saturday nights. She feeds me dinner and puts me to bed. She seems to get the crises. I won't go into detail but we have had to endure the not so good drama together and she always risen to the occasion. I have unbelievable respect for her.
Stacy: Stacy comes on the weekend mornings. She alternates weekends with Shanah. Stacy is wonderful and dedicated to the job. I can always call Stacy if someone cancels. Stacy is just so great.
Shanah: Shanah alternates weekend mornings. We had instant chemistry. She is thoughtful and a fun person to be around. I can always count on her for a smile. I love this girl!
I am hoping that you can see how I live and accomplish my dreams by knowing when my assistants came and exactly what they do for me.
The Elmhurst Administration:
Desiree: Desiree is in charge of Student Success, she organized Big Questions and orientation and numerous other activities. She has embraced my family and me from the beginning. She is warm, sincere and kind. I have been going to talk to her once a week just to have some girl talk and it is so fun. She is really becoming someone I look up to and admire.
Eileen: Eileen is the Dean of Students. She is great at what she does. Eileen made a real effort in getting to know my needs and what I am all about. I am so thankful to have a Dean like her in my life.
Roger: Roger is in charge of Intercultural Affairs. He will lead thought provoking discussions and embraces every student for what he or she is. He has been a guy who I visit often and we have plans for the rest of the time I'm here. What are the plans? Like I'm really going to tell? Yeah right! Keep reading and you will know!!!
Ian: Ian works with the Greeks on campus. He was the one who called my mom and really made sure that I could really be in Phi Mu. Of course I could! Ian really does have the student’s best interest at heart.
Elizabeth: Elizabeth also works with the Greeks on campus. She helps all the sororities plan events and especially plan for the weekend of rush.
Bev: Bev is...nobody really knows what she actually does. In my mind, she is the mom of the school. She is always there for you and knows everybody!
Laura: Laura is the director of community service at Elmhurst. She and I haven’t really had a chance to get to know each other but the few times we have worked together, she has been really understanding towards me.
People Who Make My Day That Much Easier:
Gina: Gina is one of the writing tutors at the Learning Center. Her job is to help students develop their papers. She has done so much more for me. Gina immediately understood that I needed to use e-mail instead of bringing the actual paper in which is hard for me. She understood my unique situation right away. Gina has helped me with three major papers and I couldn't be more thankful to her.
Jacob and the wonderful Library Staff: Jacob works in the library and he caught on to me real fast. He dove right in! He recently helped me find sources for a ten page philosophy paper. He is friendly and really funny. In addition to Jacob, there is Peg. She is great at helping me also. She was right on board like Jacob. Also, Jennifer has been amazing and understood my situation immediately.
Samantha: Samantha came here for eight weeks to get Phi Mu started at Elmhurst. We completely hit it off and we are true sisters. I really can't put into words what we have.
There are so many other people that make my day easier that I couldn't possibly name you all but you know who you are and I am really blessed to have you in my life.
I think you can see why it's so hard to leave when I have all these wonderful people in my life. It is not easy to say good-bye. I have fallen in love with these people. Most of you can predict what I am going to bring up next!
CAMP COURAGE!!!
I am beyond thrilled at the idea of going to camp! I get to see so many people that I love dearly. I always think half of my heart is in Minnesota and the other half is here. You all know about Katherine but there are some other people that I just am itching to see...
Trinayani (kindly known as "T"): T met me three years ago on the first day of camp. She is so unbelievably strong and kind. She does not work at camp but she is visiting me during my session and I can't wait to see her huge smile and embrace her vibrant personality.
Caycee: Caycee is a former camper and I fell in love with her spunk and zest for life. If I remember correctly, she was a part of why I was painted from head to toe last year in the paint war along with many other counselors. Needless to say, I needed an hour long shower after that!
And of course...
Keith: Keith is just the greatest guy. He has been such a great friend. We had a connection right away. I cannot put into words how wonderful he is. For example, I was so upset about the gagging because I had gagged through Mother's Day brunch which was not an ego booster. I get on Skype and I call him and he talked to me for over an hour. Needless to say, I felt a hundred times better.
I need to mention that I did break up with Aaron the day after the blog went out. That was great timing! We still talk on a regular basis. We tried it; it was not right for me. He was a perfect gentleman about it and I cherish our friendship.
Going back to my original thought, WHO KNEW!!! I have exceeded my own expectations this year. This has been one of the greatest, exhilarating and most independent years of my life. I could not ask for more. Lastly, when I created this blog it was simply to tell you all what was going on, I never thought it would be such a huge thing that people look forward to reading. I can't tell you how much I love writing it.
As I said in my last post, at the end of the day, I'm healthy, happy and loved. Yes, the transition of going home is difficult, the gagging is a pain to deal with but overall in the big picture, I couldn't ask for a better life BECAUSE OF the people in my life.
I have succeeded this year. What am I going to do next year is the big question!
Your Sophomore,
Hannah!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
At the End of the Day
The craziest, most thrilling adventure in life is finding love. I mean, countless movies are made about that adventure, how your parents met is probably the most romantic story to you, and we daydream about Mr. or Mrs. Right. Why? Because essentially it's what gives up hope at the end of the day. God, or whoever you may believe in put us on this earth with a natural instinct to find that special someone. Why am I talking about love? Because I found somebody.
His name is Aaron. He is from Camp Courage (anybody surprised?). We met three years ago at camp. He used a communication device and I wanted to check it out. Aaron was quite impressed with my skills on the DynaVox. However, we didn't have any sparks when we first met. I recall the director wanted him to be my mentor. Oh my God! How dare she suggest that I didn't know anything about using a device? I am the queen of DynaVoxes! Not waiting to express the 16 year old tantrum I was currently having in my head, I took his e-mail. I put his e-mail in my contacts and never e-mailed him. I didn't have any contact with him for a year. I go to camp the next year and Aaron bumps into me again and we talk for two minutes, we exchanged contact information. The difference was he had MY e-mail. Sometime, after camp he asks to be friends on Facebook. Eh, sure. He starts instant messaging me which was OK. I get to know Aaron and he becomes a really good friend. Last summer as you will learn, he asks me out. At that time, I only saw him as a friend and had to say no. Time passes and we are pretty much talking daily. So, what happened? He talked about Camp Courage in the way I feel about that wonderful place. I had been thinking about Aaron a lot and that sealed the deal for me. I decided to flirt with him, see what happens. Oh, he picked up on it REAL fast. So, we have a very intense, emotional, but sweet conversation. At this point in my post, Aaron will virtually introduce himself.
Hi my name is Aaron and I am 23 years old. I know she told some of you 22, but what is a relationship without a few miscommunications? I live in the Twin Cities area in Minnesota. I am a guest writer on this amazing blog for a good reason. I go to school at Minneapolis Community and Technical College in downtown Minneapolis studying Human Services. I like my classes. I first met Hannah at Camp Courage, her summer retreat, the first year she came. I was visiting the College Preview class to talk about my experience with classes and such. I met this very outgoing girl there (guess who?) and she inquired me about my communication device. When I told her about the cool features mine had, she got excited. After my talk, we chatted more, traded jokes, etc. I didn’t see her again until that next year, and this time it was around the Camp Courage campfire. We chatted briefly, and exchanged emails and that stuff. We chatted ever since via Facebook and Skype. Last Summer I asked her out, she respectfully said let’s just stay friends, I honored that request and just stayed in touch with her as a good friend. Then in the past few weeks, she had been sending me sweet messages via Facebook, and I asked if she wanted to still be friends, and she replied “I’ve been thinking about us” and I was floored. We have been happy ever since. Hopefully this is what she was looking for when she asked me to do this…
It was exactly what I was looking for, Aaron! I know there is an age difference and I'm not going to lie, I was nervous because society is so critical of romantic relationships and my parents would think and the list goes on and on. Then something occurred to me. At the end of the day, does it really matter? No. Aaron is sweet to me and likes me for all the reasons. Aaron and I talk to each other with a video phone and we understand if something happens and were late because we both face the challenges of Cerebral Palsy. After I had reconciled the age difference with myself, I applied the "At the end of the day" philosophy with my personal life and society.
It is a challenge for me to eat, drink, walk, talk and you all know that the list goes on and on. My assistants help me with these tasks and do a great job with it. However, one to two times a week an assistant will cancel. Whether its last minute or a week notice, I need to find a replacement immediately. It is not a question of "'can", it is simply a major of "how well can I do this task?". How well can I accommodate to their schedules? How well can I do this task? This adrenaline rush drenches my body in energy. My body stiffens with anxiety. Who is going to feed me? Put me to bed? I am now in my element. This is a test where failing is not an option. My hand reaches for the phone and I find someone. Success! I can call myself an independent woman for that day.
Currently, this is my job. I love it because the pay is not in dollars but personal satisfaction. That is why I wonder about people who work in the corporate world. They want to impress their boss or their co-workers not necessarily themselves. They worry so much about numbers, meaningless meetings, reaching the top salary and I don't know those seem worthiness to me. They don't really matter at the end of the day. Your spouse does not care, your children want to play regardless of whether you got that deal or not, and your dog probably wants a walk. If that does not prove my point, answer these questions. Does your spouse hug you and say I am so glad you got that deal? Does your pet love you more when you get promoted? Do your kids love you more if you got a deal that day? No.
I'm not saying the corporate world is necessarily bad but I think WE ALL lose touch with the glory of doing something for yourself. That is what I do and when I overcome the smallest challenge. I have to give myself credit or else I would not have made it through the first semester.
So, I have to ask what matters at the end of the day to you? I know for me it is that my family loves me, I have such great friends, wonderful assistants and that I get the privilege of calling myself an independent woman for one more day.
Kicking Some Butt,
Hannah!
P.S. I was having a really difficult night because of multiple reasons. When I'm having that type of moment, I usually resort to inspirational and happy YouTube clip however, I found myself reading your comments on my blog. They really do make a difference when those moments happen and for that I have to say thank you.
His name is Aaron. He is from Camp Courage (anybody surprised?). We met three years ago at camp. He used a communication device and I wanted to check it out. Aaron was quite impressed with my skills on the DynaVox. However, we didn't have any sparks when we first met. I recall the director wanted him to be my mentor. Oh my God! How dare she suggest that I didn't know anything about using a device? I am the queen of DynaVoxes! Not waiting to express the 16 year old tantrum I was currently having in my head, I took his e-mail. I put his e-mail in my contacts and never e-mailed him. I didn't have any contact with him for a year. I go to camp the next year and Aaron bumps into me again and we talk for two minutes, we exchanged contact information. The difference was he had MY e-mail. Sometime, after camp he asks to be friends on Facebook. Eh, sure. He starts instant messaging me which was OK. I get to know Aaron and he becomes a really good friend. Last summer as you will learn, he asks me out. At that time, I only saw him as a friend and had to say no. Time passes and we are pretty much talking daily. So, what happened? He talked about Camp Courage in the way I feel about that wonderful place. I had been thinking about Aaron a lot and that sealed the deal for me. I decided to flirt with him, see what happens. Oh, he picked up on it REAL fast. So, we have a very intense, emotional, but sweet conversation. At this point in my post, Aaron will virtually introduce himself.
Hi my name is Aaron and I am 23 years old. I know she told some of you 22, but what is a relationship without a few miscommunications? I live in the Twin Cities area in Minnesota. I am a guest writer on this amazing blog for a good reason. I go to school at Minneapolis Community and Technical College in downtown Minneapolis studying Human Services. I like my classes. I first met Hannah at Camp Courage, her summer retreat, the first year she came. I was visiting the College Preview class to talk about my experience with classes and such. I met this very outgoing girl there (guess who?) and she inquired me about my communication device. When I told her about the cool features mine had, she got excited. After my talk, we chatted more, traded jokes, etc. I didn’t see her again until that next year, and this time it was around the Camp Courage campfire. We chatted briefly, and exchanged emails and that stuff. We chatted ever since via Facebook and Skype. Last Summer I asked her out, she respectfully said let’s just stay friends, I honored that request and just stayed in touch with her as a good friend. Then in the past few weeks, she had been sending me sweet messages via Facebook, and I asked if she wanted to still be friends, and she replied “I’ve been thinking about us” and I was floored. We have been happy ever since. Hopefully this is what she was looking for when she asked me to do this…
It was exactly what I was looking for, Aaron! I know there is an age difference and I'm not going to lie, I was nervous because society is so critical of romantic relationships and my parents would think and the list goes on and on. Then something occurred to me. At the end of the day, does it really matter? No. Aaron is sweet to me and likes me for all the reasons. Aaron and I talk to each other with a video phone and we understand if something happens and were late because we both face the challenges of Cerebral Palsy. After I had reconciled the age difference with myself, I applied the "At the end of the day" philosophy with my personal life and society.
It is a challenge for me to eat, drink, walk, talk and you all know that the list goes on and on. My assistants help me with these tasks and do a great job with it. However, one to two times a week an assistant will cancel. Whether its last minute or a week notice, I need to find a replacement immediately. It is not a question of "'can", it is simply a major of "how well can I do this task?". How well can I accommodate to their schedules? How well can I do this task? This adrenaline rush drenches my body in energy. My body stiffens with anxiety. Who is going to feed me? Put me to bed? I am now in my element. This is a test where failing is not an option. My hand reaches for the phone and I find someone. Success! I can call myself an independent woman for that day.
Currently, this is my job. I love it because the pay is not in dollars but personal satisfaction. That is why I wonder about people who work in the corporate world. They want to impress their boss or their co-workers not necessarily themselves. They worry so much about numbers, meaningless meetings, reaching the top salary and I don't know those seem worthiness to me. They don't really matter at the end of the day. Your spouse does not care, your children want to play regardless of whether you got that deal or not, and your dog probably wants a walk. If that does not prove my point, answer these questions. Does your spouse hug you and say I am so glad you got that deal? Does your pet love you more when you get promoted? Do your kids love you more if you got a deal that day? No.
I'm not saying the corporate world is necessarily bad but I think WE ALL lose touch with the glory of doing something for yourself. That is what I do and when I overcome the smallest challenge. I have to give myself credit or else I would not have made it through the first semester.
So, I have to ask what matters at the end of the day to you? I know for me it is that my family loves me, I have such great friends, wonderful assistants and that I get the privilege of calling myself an independent woman for one more day.
Kicking Some Butt,
Hannah!
P.S. I was having a really difficult night because of multiple reasons. When I'm having that type of moment, I usually resort to inspirational and happy YouTube clip however, I found myself reading your comments on my blog. They really do make a difference when those moments happen and for that I have to say thank you.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Dream Big
February 2nd, 2009-
I signed up with the recruitment officers today. The fear and anxiety has completely overwhelmed me. I remember wanting it so bad and it ended in heartbreak. I want this so badly but I can't give the world a concrete reason as to why. The girls seemed sweeter to both Jessica and I which is good. I am just so anxiety ridden and nervous already. Am I crazy for putting myself through this again? My little voice keeps reminding me that I have wanted this since summer and I will regret it if I don't go for it.
February 5th, 2009-
I regret watching The Bachelor that other night. I have so much empathy that I think seeing rejection on TV made me freak out. I went to the tea party today. It was OK. Jill, my good friend is rushing also and didn't hesitate to help me out at the party. The other girls weren't the typical sorority girls which was comforting. I know a lot of administrators want me to get in so that is good. I have my interview Monday and I think that will be my strong suit. All I can say is that I really want this.
February 11th, 2009-
I had my interview on Monday. I made them choke up so it went well. They sent me an e-mail asking about what it would be like to have me in their sorority. Questions about how my assistants would fit in, best way to contact me, etc. I can't help but take this as a good sign. Getting that e-mail made everything so incredibly real. It's scary when you realize this could really happen even if it is a wonderful thing. It's also scary because strong emotions are involved now (sorry, been watching the Bachelor, it's frequently what they say on the show). But seriously, I am now truly emotionally invested.
I attend the Everything Goes With Pink recruitment event tonight. It's another opportunity for the women to get to know me. As I was walking to dinner, one of the women who interviewed me greeted me with a hug and said that I would meet the national president of Phi Mu. I was quite flattered. This probably means they are talking about me and impressed by me. I am excited and curious and still a little nervous because it could still end in heartbreak. Jill, my friend is coming over to help me with last minute details so I feel confident and look great. I have a great friend in Jill.
February 13th- In a few minutes, I will find out. Yesterday's party went great. The chapter consultant said to me, we should have lunch next week and see you tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I will get recruited. When I was getting dressed this morning, I turned on the radio and I Hope You Can Dance and I thought of all of you because the montage I received on my 16th birthday was to that song. I started getting all choked up because I thought of all of you back home. I know you would want this for me if you were here. I will have a bite to eat then go to Desiree's office and find out. I DID IT...
I am a Phi Mu!!!!
I waited in line for fifteen minutes. Then Desiree opened my envelope and it said I had been invited to the new member ceremony.
I am truly proud of myself. I am thrilled. I did it. It was not a Special Education goal, it was not a therapy goal, it was MY goal. So many times people make goals for me. They are what I need but not exactly what's in my heart. This was my goal and I did it. It feels so rewarding because nobody suggested it or helped me like in the past. When I felt doubtful, I would always think, I'm going to be OK because I have you all and you make life terrific. I am so happy right now. This is a dream come true!
I hope I have inspired you to DREAM BIG! If you don't take risks then you are missing out on something great and if it does not turn out, I can be a shoulder to cry on. Go for your dreams! I will end this post with a song.
You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway
You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway
God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway I do it anyway
This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway
You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway
God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yea - I do it anyway
You can pour your soul out singin
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea, sing it anyway
Yeah, yeah!
I sing
I dream
I love anyway
- Martina McBride
I may do a mini blog to explain everything because it's difficult to understand if you are not a Phi Mu and I don't know everything yet.
I am really happy!
Your Phi Mu,
Hannah!
I signed up with the recruitment officers today. The fear and anxiety has completely overwhelmed me. I remember wanting it so bad and it ended in heartbreak. I want this so badly but I can't give the world a concrete reason as to why. The girls seemed sweeter to both Jessica and I which is good. I am just so anxiety ridden and nervous already. Am I crazy for putting myself through this again? My little voice keeps reminding me that I have wanted this since summer and I will regret it if I don't go for it.
February 5th, 2009-
I regret watching The Bachelor that other night. I have so much empathy that I think seeing rejection on TV made me freak out. I went to the tea party today. It was OK. Jill, my good friend is rushing also and didn't hesitate to help me out at the party. The other girls weren't the typical sorority girls which was comforting. I know a lot of administrators want me to get in so that is good. I have my interview Monday and I think that will be my strong suit. All I can say is that I really want this.
February 11th, 2009-
I had my interview on Monday. I made them choke up so it went well. They sent me an e-mail asking about what it would be like to have me in their sorority. Questions about how my assistants would fit in, best way to contact me, etc. I can't help but take this as a good sign. Getting that e-mail made everything so incredibly real. It's scary when you realize this could really happen even if it is a wonderful thing. It's also scary because strong emotions are involved now (sorry, been watching the Bachelor, it's frequently what they say on the show). But seriously, I am now truly emotionally invested.
I attend the Everything Goes With Pink recruitment event tonight. It's another opportunity for the women to get to know me. As I was walking to dinner, one of the women who interviewed me greeted me with a hug and said that I would meet the national president of Phi Mu. I was quite flattered. This probably means they are talking about me and impressed by me. I am excited and curious and still a little nervous because it could still end in heartbreak. Jill, my friend is coming over to help me with last minute details so I feel confident and look great. I have a great friend in Jill.
February 13th- In a few minutes, I will find out. Yesterday's party went great. The chapter consultant said to me, we should have lunch next week and see you tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I will get recruited. When I was getting dressed this morning, I turned on the radio and I Hope You Can Dance and I thought of all of you because the montage I received on my 16th birthday was to that song. I started getting all choked up because I thought of all of you back home. I know you would want this for me if you were here. I will have a bite to eat then go to Desiree's office and find out. I DID IT...
I am a Phi Mu!!!!
I waited in line for fifteen minutes. Then Desiree opened my envelope and it said I had been invited to the new member ceremony.
I am truly proud of myself. I am thrilled. I did it. It was not a Special Education goal, it was not a therapy goal, it was MY goal. So many times people make goals for me. They are what I need but not exactly what's in my heart. This was my goal and I did it. It feels so rewarding because nobody suggested it or helped me like in the past. When I felt doubtful, I would always think, I'm going to be OK because I have you all and you make life terrific. I am so happy right now. This is a dream come true!
I hope I have inspired you to DREAM BIG! If you don't take risks then you are missing out on something great and if it does not turn out, I can be a shoulder to cry on. Go for your dreams! I will end this post with a song.
You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway
You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway
God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway I do it anyway
This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway
You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway
God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yea - I do it anyway
You can pour your soul out singin
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea, sing it anyway
Yeah, yeah!
I sing
I dream
I love anyway
- Martina McBride
I may do a mini blog to explain everything because it's difficult to understand if you are not a Phi Mu and I don't know everything yet.
I am really happy!
Your Phi Mu,
Hannah!
Monday, January 19, 2009
A Wonderful End To 2008 Brings Hope to 2009
As I sit here in my dorm watching all the excitement in Washington, I get goose bumps. Everyone feels this INCREDIBLE wave of change coming. It is such a milestone for America. It is almost like America is graduating to a higher level of greatness. I personally respect and admire both Martin Luther King Jr. and Mr. President Elect Obama. I have a Martin Luther King Jr. poster in my room and I shiver as I look at that man today. His dream will come true tomorrow and I do not think any of us thought we would see this beautiful and monumental day. Tears have come to my eyes now as I write this. God Bless America and God Bless Mr. President Elect Barack Obama! Hallelujah!
As for me, the end of 2008 and the beautiful beginning of 2009 has been full of amazing events!
First and foremost, I want to thank my parents for a truly unforgettable Christmas gift. They flew in Katherine, my "sister" from Camp Courage. On Christmas Eve, with all of my other amazing gifts there was a big box. Really big box. I thought it was a TV which I did not really want. I like my little Toshiba, what? I saved the big box for last and David made me think it was heavy by the way he picked it up. Dad set it on my lap. I start opening it and it is a huge cardboard box. Mom opened the box for me and all it had was tissue in it and then a card from my parents that said, what would thrill Hannah this year? Low and behold...KATHERINE WAS COMING in four days. I went into the shaky, I cannot believe this happening cry! This was a dream come true. This was unbelievable. Katherine, who is practically my sister was going to be in my arms in four short days! Incredible!
And when she was in my arms, it was pure bliss! We hugged the entire car ride home! I just thought, You're here, you're here, you are here! We went to the Shedd Aquarium, saw the Brookfield lights and we TALKED! Wait, back up....I have to explain Katherine's disability first. Katherine can walk but she cannot talk-in the conventional way. BUT, she can express a whole
sentence in one facial expression, she can make one noise and convey a thousand words to me. I call it Katherine lingo. She does have a device like mine to speak but it was broken. Plus, she uses mine. Katherine can use my DynaVox with such ease! Katherine is the only person on this planet that I allow to use my precious DynaVox. We had tons of private conversations in the car and on my bed when my parents made me get out of my wheelchair. I think my favorite memory was when we were home alone and she was feeding me and it just felt so right and easy. We were talking about how people don't understand how easy it is to figure us out. And, we were talking about how in our relationship she does the physical things and I, for once do the talking when we went shopping or anywhere in public. Communication can be so many things, a squeal, a scream, a look, anything! I think we often forget that communication is not necessarily e-mail, texting or talking for that matter. In the end, it is about truly connecting and understanding another human being. I am so very blessed to have Katherine in my life.
Some random short stories:
- Dad and I were getting my room settled after break. I'm telling him where everything goes and whatnot. In the middle of unpacking, I realize I forgot my clock. You see, time is everything when you're dependent on someone. I know exactly when my aide has to be there. It is security. But I didn't have that security. In fact, that security was left at home. My face goes completely pale and my dad knows as if it had happened before that were heading to Walgreens to buy an alarm clock at 10:00 at night. So, we jump into the car and half hour later I have an alarm clock. Thank the Lord!
- Oh, some of you probably want to hear about the academic stuff! In January, Elmhurst offers you the opportunity to take one class in January-like summer school but it's snowing. Spring semester starts in February. Right now, I'm taking a class called The Problem of Evil. It centers around the question, if God is all good then why is there evil? It is a pretty interesting class and I like it for the most part.
- Last but certainly not least is my visit back to Glenbrook South. It was amazing going back and seeing all the people who said, you can go to college and I got the privilege of saying, Yes I Did!
We will all wake up to a new and better America tomorrow and with that thought I say, hope for anything because it is truly a new day tomorrow.
All my Love,
Hannah!
As for me, the end of 2008 and the beautiful beginning of 2009 has been full of amazing events!
First and foremost, I want to thank my parents for a truly unforgettable Christmas gift. They flew in Katherine, my "sister" from Camp Courage. On Christmas Eve, with all of my other amazing gifts there was a big box. Really big box. I thought it was a TV which I did not really want. I like my little Toshiba, what? I saved the big box for last and David made me think it was heavy by the way he picked it up. Dad set it on my lap. I start opening it and it is a huge cardboard box. Mom opened the box for me and all it had was tissue in it and then a card from my parents that said, what would thrill Hannah this year? Low and behold...KATHERINE WAS COMING in four days. I went into the shaky, I cannot believe this happening cry! This was a dream come true. This was unbelievable. Katherine, who is practically my sister was going to be in my arms in four short days! Incredible!
And when she was in my arms, it was pure bliss! We hugged the entire car ride home! I just thought, You're here, you're here, you are here! We went to the Shedd Aquarium, saw the Brookfield lights and we TALKED! Wait, back up....I have to explain Katherine's disability first. Katherine can walk but she cannot talk-in the conventional way. BUT, she can express a whole
sentence in one facial expression, she can make one noise and convey a thousand words to me. I call it Katherine lingo. She does have a device like mine to speak but it was broken. Plus, she uses mine. Katherine can use my DynaVox with such ease! Katherine is the only person on this planet that I allow to use my precious DynaVox. We had tons of private conversations in the car and on my bed when my parents made me get out of my wheelchair. I think my favorite memory was when we were home alone and she was feeding me and it just felt so right and easy. We were talking about how people don't understand how easy it is to figure us out. And, we were talking about how in our relationship she does the physical things and I, for once do the talking when we went shopping or anywhere in public. Communication can be so many things, a squeal, a scream, a look, anything! I think we often forget that communication is not necessarily e-mail, texting or talking for that matter. In the end, it is about truly connecting and understanding another human being. I am so very blessed to have Katherine in my life.Some random short stories:
- Dad and I were getting my room settled after break. I'm telling him where everything goes and whatnot. In the middle of unpacking, I realize I forgot my clock. You see, time is everything when you're dependent on someone. I know exactly when my aide has to be there. It is security. But I didn't have that security. In fact, that security was left at home. My face goes completely pale and my dad knows as if it had happened before that were heading to Walgreens to buy an alarm clock at 10:00 at night. So, we jump into the car and half hour later I have an alarm clock. Thank the Lord!
- Oh, some of you probably want to hear about the academic stuff! In January, Elmhurst offers you the opportunity to take one class in January-like summer school but it's snowing. Spring semester starts in February. Right now, I'm taking a class called The Problem of Evil. It centers around the question, if God is all good then why is there evil? It is a pretty interesting class and I like it for the most part.
- Last but certainly not least is my visit back to Glenbrook South. It was amazing going back and seeing all the people who said, you can go to college and I got the privilege of saying, Yes I Did!
We will all wake up to a new and better America tomorrow and with that thought I say, hope for anything because it is truly a new day tomorrow.
All my Love,
Hannah!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Hannah Meets her Hero
Cedric Jennings grew up in a bad neighborhood in Washington. He went to a high need school, lived in multiple bad neighborhoods and went to Brown University. Yes. He overcame countless obstacles. While doing so, he had a author follow him around and write a book about Cedric. We had to read that book for class and it has completely inspired me.
Why am I writing about a book in my blog? Simply because I got to meet Cedric on Wednesday, November 18th. He came to our class and spoke then I had the privilege of eating lunch with him and to top it all off, I went to his lecture. He spoke about overcoming his circumstances and I was so incredibly inspired!
Little Snip Its of the day:
At the lecture, I was sitting next to Desiree, a young woman who works in Student Activities and we decided to ask him about his love life. By now, Cedric and I are buddies. So, I type in "Desiree and I were wondering about your love life". The whole lecture hall starts hysterically laughing. I mean really laughing. He answers laughing, what love life? I am bright red. It was so funny.
When Cedric autographed my book, he wrote, "You are a wonderful young woman destined for greatness". I gave him a huge hug. I could tell we both touched each other which is the goal of life, to touch others lives.
I learned that there are people who want to inspire others. I forget that there are people out there tha
t live to break barriers and diminish stereotypes. It was a wonderful reminder!
So, it is now December! I am looking forward to seeing everyone...
This Friday is our annual Christmas party. I have been looking forward to it all year. It is one of my favorite nights out of the year!
I am simply ecstatic about visiting my high school, I cannot describe my excitement! I truly can't wait.
I get to see my therapists! They were a huge part of my left and I simply can't wait to catch up with these wonderful women
I get to see my beloved neighbors! I can't wait to catch up on "Mommy Talk". There isn't "Mommy Talk" at college.
And, I get to see my family. Not only Mom, Dad, David and Genevieve but my cousins, uncles and my Nana! So excited!
I truly could not be more excited about seeing everybody. That will truly be the best Christmas present!
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,
Hannah!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
What to do When the Elevator is out of Order
Most, no, all of you have been worried and wondering what would happen if... Well, I recently found out what I do if the elevator is out of order.
I roll into Circle Hall like a usual Wednesday morning only to find a sign on the elevator that says, "Out of Order". I am completely shocked. I call Campus Security and they don't understand the DynaVox. I'll work that out at a later date. Thankfully, a major office is about ten feet away. I tell the secretary the situation. My class meets downstairs and the elevator is out of order. She asks for the details, where is the class and whose the professor. I tell them what they need to know. Oh, and now I have the attention of three staff members. This is turning into quite the adventure as you can probably tell. So, the secretaries are calling other people feverishly because I have another class at 2:15 in the same building which is just the cherry on top. Meanwhile, one of the professors comes to visit me upstairs and makes sure I'm OK. You have to understand that this guy, Roger is one of the most caring men you will ever meet. He informs me that Dr. Fiene, the other professor will come up and talk to me.
Dr. Fiene who is also my advisor arrives in the office and says, since you cannot get to class, let's have our advising session right now. My original appointment was on Friday. Perfect solution. By the way, the class was watching a movie, that was why the professors were able to leave the classroom. Oh, let's not forget that these poor secretaries are frantically working everything out.
We sit down at the computer to look up courses and we are planning for the Spring term. I was majoring in Political Science. I looked at the courses. No! The courses all seemed dry and dull.
"I can't do this" I said. "Do what" Dr. Fiene asks. I can't major in political science! I have the I want to cry/overwhelmed look on my face. No! Not political science! I can't! "What is your passion" Dr. Fiene inquired. The first thing that came to mind was: public speaking! She opens the book to Communication courses. I look at them, there perfect! All about public speaking or effective communication. This fits my personality so well! Relief came over me instantly. I would not have to take boring history or political courses. I would take courses that would interest, challenge and show off my skill. I walked out of Circle Hall thrilled and anxious for the Spring term to begin.
I have had a few other adventures such as my wheelchair completely bonking out (ironically in Circle Hall). But, I have to share some wonderful news...
Emily Doherty, my beloved cousin got married October 11th to Jacob Thomas who was warmly welcomed into our family. Congratulations, Emily and Jacob. We wish you the best!
So, if the elevator is out of order, the thing to do is change my major!
Love,
Hannah!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Sisters and Brothers
Author's Note: Please read until the very bottom, I know it's long!
So, this weekend I rushed two sororities. I had to go to many parties and make small talk which was a huge challenge for me. I had to be on top of every question and have a darn good answer for every question. My head felt like a tilt a world because many times I would be talking to four women at once. It was utterly exhausting physically, mentally and emotionally. To show you how intense it was, I'll give you the schedule:
Thursday Night: Open House; getting to know about the sororities. Very easy and relaxed.
Friday Night: Round One: So, you line up in alphabetical order (strange but, OK), we went into a dark room (since there colors are black and red), a girl linked arms with you and you made small talk for a straight 45 minutes. Other girls would come up and make even more small talk.
Then you waited in your dorm for invitations back. I got two invitations back. So excited!
Saturday afternoon: In business casual attire, we basically did the same thing as Friday but with making crafts in support of their philanthropy. I was absolutely exhausted by the time the two parties have ended because I had to type for an hour for each sorority. I was now thinking:
- Why did I put myself through this?
- I should win an assistive technology award just for this weekend alone.
- It'll be worth it in the end
Saturday night: I am mentally preparing myself not to get into one certain sorority (the sorority I preferred) but to my surprise, I got invited back to that sorority and not the other one. Trust me, it was absolutely shocking!
Sunday Morning: I had the privilege of witnessing an extremely sacred ritual which was actually quite emotional for the women of this sorority.
12:00: I placed my bid.
2:00: I got a phone call saying that my bid was not matched. I was so upset, sad and crying.
I called Mom crying and she was sorry my heart was broken. I called Priscilla, my aide to tell her that she didn't have to come at 3:00 because I didn't have anywhere to go at 3:00 because I wasn't in a sorority. Instead, I just started crying. She came running over to comfort me.
I thought about it. She was in her pajamas and came to comfort me. That is what a sister would do. I have so many girls including Priscilla and all my new assistants: Kim, Jessica, Ashley, Cassie, Stacy, and Lindsey that would and have put down everything to come help me and I would do the same. They are loyal, kind and keep me laughing. I cannot thank them enough for all that they do. Kim is very dependable and trustworthy. Jessica is always there when I cry (she always gets the tears, don't know why). Ashley is a wonderful, funny and true friend. Priscilla is always there no matter what. Cassie is easygoing and always up for anything including a field trip with only two days notice. Stacy can laugh in the face of mishaps which is always a quality I admire. Finally, Lindsey is this outgoing and fun young woman who makes me laugh. All the ladies that help me have many beautiful qualities but I would have to write a whole other blog to brag about them fully. And, the wonderful thing is, I have these types of sisters at home and at Camp Courage. I even have these types of brothers.
I cannot publish this blog yet without mentioning one other name. Genevieve. G
enevieve sees me as a big sister without any judgment or small talk. We will always be sisters and I will love you forever. That is a lifelong promise. This post is dedicated to you, Genevieve!
I did hesitate to write this post but there are going to be adventures that won't turn out in my favor and that's simply life!
Love,
Hannah!
P.S. David...you'll get your own post also! Don't worry!
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DISCLAIMER: I do not resent the sororities for their decision or the college. This blog is simply a way of communicating with family and friends from home.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
READER'S REMINDER: If you want to be part of an upcoming posting, please remember to jot down ELEVEN things you are grateful for. See previous post for details.
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So, this weekend I rushed two sororities. I had to go to many parties and make small talk which was a huge challenge for me. I had to be on top of every question and have a darn good answer for every question. My head felt like a tilt a world because many times I would be talking to four women at once. It was utterly exhausting physically, mentally and emotionally. To show you how intense it was, I'll give you the schedule:
Thursday Night: Open House; getting to know about the sororities. Very easy and relaxed.
Friday Night: Round One: So, you line up in alphabetical order (strange but, OK), we went into a dark room (since there colors are black and red), a girl linked arms with you and you made small talk for a straight 45 minutes. Other girls would come up and make even more small talk.
Then you waited in your dorm for invitations back. I got two invitations back. So excited!
Saturday afternoon: In business casual attire, we basically did the same thing as Friday but with making crafts in support of their philanthropy. I was absolutely exhausted by the time the two parties have ended because I had to type for an hour for each sorority. I was now thinking:
- Why did I put myself through this?
- I should win an assistive technology award just for this weekend alone.
- It'll be worth it in the end
Saturday night: I am mentally preparing myself not to get into one certain sorority (the sorority I preferred) but to my surprise, I got invited back to that sorority and not the other one. Trust me, it was absolutely shocking!
Sunday Morning: I had the privilege of witnessing an extremely sacred ritual which was actually quite emotional for the women of this sorority.
12:00: I placed my bid.
2:00: I got a phone call saying that my bid was not matched. I was so upset, sad and crying.
I called Mom crying and she was sorry my heart was broken. I called Priscilla, my aide to tell her that she didn't have to come at 3:00 because I didn't have anywhere to go at 3:00 because I wasn't in a sorority. Instead, I just started crying. She came running over to comfort me.
I thought about it. She was in her pajamas and came to comfort me. That is what a sister would do. I have so many girls including Priscilla and all my new assistants: Kim, Jessica, Ashley, Cassie, Stacy, and Lindsey that would and have put down everything to come help me and I would do the same. They are loyal, kind and keep me laughing. I cannot thank them enough for all that they do. Kim is very dependable and trustworthy. Jessica is always there when I cry (she always gets the tears, don't know why). Ashley is a wonderful, funny and true friend. Priscilla is always there no matter what. Cassie is easygoing and always up for anything including a field trip with only two days notice. Stacy can laugh in the face of mishaps which is always a quality I admire. Finally, Lindsey is this outgoing and fun young woman who makes me laugh. All the ladies that help me have many beautiful qualities but I would have to write a whole other blog to brag about them fully. And, the wonderful thing is, I have these types of sisters at home and at Camp Courage. I even have these types of brothers.
I cannot publish this blog yet without mentioning one other name. Genevieve. G
enevieve sees me as a big sister without any judgment or small talk. We will always be sisters and I will love you forever. That is a lifelong promise. This post is dedicated to you, Genevieve!I did hesitate to write this post but there are going to be adventures that won't turn out in my favor and that's simply life!
Love,
Hannah!
P.S. David...you'll get your own post also! Don't worry!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: I do not resent the sororities for their decision or the college. This blog is simply a way of communicating with family and friends from home.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
READER'S REMINDER: If you want to be part of an upcoming posting, please remember to jot down ELEVEN things you are grateful for. See previous post for details.
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