Best Of Both Worlds

We rode past my favorite gate in the world! The Camp Courage gate! Nothing like it. Absolutely nothing. Before we got there, I offered to register myself instead of having my dad stay like my mom does. He appreciated the gesture and I appreciated the independence. I hugged Dad good-bye after meeting Whitney who greeted us. Instinctively, I headed down the paved road to the first step of registering which was picture taking. However, after five years of going this was a chance to unite with my friend, Donny. After hugging and saying, we would talk later, I went to my cabin.

I saw that amazing woman and ran into her arms. Kate, my counselor from last year was my Cabin Leader this year. I waited a full year to see her. We said our hellos and she had to do the formal camper interview. It was pretty comical because she knows everything about me and what I need at Camp. After that, I went to see the nurse. I told her when I took my medication and that I basically needed nothing else. Registering myself was like being under a waterfall of independence!

It wasn't seconds later that Katherine and I were together celebrating the fact that we were indeed there-at Camp Courage! After having a counselor named Jenny unpack me which is something that Mom usually does, Katherine and I headed over to the Camp store. In past years, the store has been about the size of a large storage closet. Not this year! This year, it was this big room of every possible type of camp gear imaginable! I'm not going to lie, I was in heaven. I love wearing a Camp shirt every now and then to remind myself of how I feel up in Maple Lake, Minnesota.

Katherine and I had to have dinner outside instead of the dining hall because of her sensitivity to noise which didn't bother me a bit. It was picturesque outside. Kate, our counselor from last year introduced us to her best friend from outside of school who was Cate. They had met at school and Kate got Cate to work at Camp. Cate had been assigned to us for meals and throughout the week, you bet we got attached! She understood the dynamic between Katherine and me. The dynamic always is: giving all we can of each other so both of us has a great week.

The first full day of Camp, Lauren, my cousin, her husband, Scott and a slew of other people willing to volunteer came. I was a happy camper! The volunteers jumped in quickly! Two of them helped with fishing, two of them helped with culinary activities and Lauren and two other volunteers helped with crafts. It gave me so much joy to see "normal, everyday" people jump into the disability world so quickly and without hesitation. They learn that people with disabilities can do crafts, swim, paint and everything else that others can.

The volunteers especially learned that people with disabilities can horseback ride! Campers always have the opportunity to horseback ride. Lauren, my cousin took me on the horse this year. It is an experience of insurmountable joy! You’re riding this gorgeous animal and they train this creature to carry you. At Camp Courage, they train the horses to be extremely gentle. See, due to my movement disorders, I will kick the horse but Cassie, my beloved horse could care less and we have a magnificent ride with a clear blue sky over our heads!

Whitney, Jenny, Aaron, Quinn, Cate and Kate gave me an incredible week at Camp Courage! It is how I rejuvenate my soul and part of the reason why I succeed in life. If I didn't have a place to rejuvenate, I don't think I would be doing as well at Elmhurst. There is something about knowing there is a place where everyone accepts everyone and everything is ready for you. I expressed my feelings at Camp Courage, I encourage you to watch the video Camp Courage posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PD9PF1CQKoE

I apologize for it being sideways!

Anyway, after Camp, I headed to Lauren’s house because I was going to Keith’s birthday party which was incredible! I learned something from Lauren and Scott that I will never forget. As soon as I got situated on their couch, Scott said that they had a black and white photo of us at Camp Courage. I’m thinking, that was fast to have them developed! It was not a picture. IT WAS A SONOGRAM! I started crying and shaking. They were going to have a baby! This was the best news ever! I kept looking around the room. We all had gotten new parts to play in life. My mom was going to be a great aunt, my aunt Sue a grandma, my Nana a great grandma, and the list goes on and on. This news literally made my entire year! Little did I know another surprise was around the corner.

I had already had a phenomenal week back from Camp. Susan, my assistant from high school took me to the Abilities Expo which is a three day event where vendors that sell anything from wheelchairs to adaptive bikes are there. Then, my best friend Jessi invited me over to her house, then Shanah, my former assistant was coming over Friday to take me out. I was going to have a great week. It was impossible to believe that my week could get better! It sure did! My friend from South Africa had said I'm coming to Chicago to visit. I was excited at the idea but didn't really expect it to happen. She and I met at Camp. She was a counselor and I of course, get attached to the ones who live farthest away! Just the way it is. That Sunday night, I get a Facebook message saying, we're coming! Oh my God. I was like a kid right before Christmas! I didn't expect this to actually happen.

Nicole, Joe and Phil all get out of the car and I am on cloud nine. Three amazingly genuine friends are at my house. Nicole is the one from South Africa who oftentimes gives me advice on how to weave my way through womanhood. Joe is her boyfriend that she met at Camp Courage, he's incredible. And Phil was a counselor in 2008 and he is one of the coolest guys I have ever met. They were all sitting at my kitchen table! Facebook connects us however, having the three of them at my house was a dream come true. You just don't get that lucky! After being at my house, they offered to take me to Ben and Jerry's! It was the cherry on the sundae!

One of the many people who combines my two worlds is my assistant, Valerie. She is helping me around the house this summer. It has been a wonderful attribute for the entire family. Mornings are less rushed; I can take time to do my own thing which is priceless. Mom and Dad have both said they like the arrangement which is so good. They were skeptical at first but I can tell this is a good thing for the Thompson household. Valerie has taken me to friend’s houses and her company is amazing! Additionally, I must say that David and Genevieve are helping out a lot! In past years, my parents had to ask, now, it’s with the attitude of she is my sister and I should help her. Maturity…what a wonderful thing!

Oftentimes, I feel like I have to pick between two worlds which can be burdensome. It is weeks like this that remind me I truly have the best of both worlds. In the disability world, I am readily accepted for who I am. I know the world very well and in turn, it has brought me so many gifts-tangible and non tangible. In the able bodied world, I have to prove myself, I face daily struggles but I see the best in people. When I do prove myself or teach someone about myself, I feel like I own the world, and may on occasion do a happy dance afterward. And when I overcome a struggle, I feel incredibly empowered. The two worlds offer me different things and because of the way God created me, I have the best of both worlds!

Love,

Hannah

Inspirations

Here it is! My first June post! Your voices were heard.

I recently heard a saying: have a healthy disregard for the impossible! Frankly, I have to say that I try to embody those words on a daily basis. You're probably wondering where I learned that phrase. It was at LeaderShape. It is a six day leadership conference. It was all about personal development and being a leader. We had small group time, lectures and family cluster time. Your family cluster was a group of eleven people who you opened up to about your life. This group really got to know me. I will talk about the struggles and triumphs of each day.

Day One (Arrival): This day for me was about getting comfortable in my new surroundings. It is not easy to go to a place I don't know at all because I like to know what is coming and I didn't. However, when I saw my assistant Kim and the friendly staff I was at ease. The day consisted of ice breakers.

Day Two (Advocating): The morning of day two was exciting! We had a ropes course to complete. The vacillator of my group was Hayden. Hayden had a career in special recreation so I am thinking IT IS GO TIME!!! This guy knows the score. When I first talked to Hayden, I purposely acted coy, I said, "I hope I can do all of it" when in reality I'm thinking, I plan on kicking ass! So, we get to the ropes course and two ropes were tied to trees like horizontal parallel lines. You could either go under, across, or over these ropes. I volunteered to go across. Everyone was surprised when I volunteered (I loved it)! However, when Kim got me out of that chair and handed me over, everyone relaxed and saw me truly to be one of them. I successfully got through the ropes. I really felt a sense of humanity and complete acceptance. It felt good on my end to be physically dependent on my peers for the first time in my life.

The afternoon of day two I realized I was exhausted from back to back activities. See, when I am at school, I plan breaks during the day so I keep my energy up. There were no breaks except for twenty minutes here and there and to a disabled person, that isn't even enough time to get to a place where you could relax. It was a problem. I spoke to the director, Laura who is from Elmhurst College, and said, look I am already tired and by Sunday I will be a wreck if I don't have extended breaks. She understood, and we worked out extended breaks.

Day Three (The Vision): The whole point of LeaderShape was to have a vision of how to change the world. My vision was to become a motivational speaker and inspire people to "do their impossible". I know my story is meant to inspire people and I have to be the one to deliver it. This is one of my dream jobs along with Courage.

Day Four (The Switch): Kim and Megan switched on day four. I did have to put my "employer cap" on. I needed to make sure the switch went smoothly and Megan was comfortable. I had Kim talk to her about everything. I must admit that Kim handed over a somewhat cranky and tired girl because of the ongoing activities!

Day Five (Pure Heart): At the end of day five, my family cluster shared what we thought of each other. We had had extremely emotional talks, difficult topics to discuss and a lot of other bonding experiences. Our facilitator, Kevin who is the co-chaplain on campus was incredible with me and the group! I have always wanted to have a closer relationship with Kevin and I definitely got it. By day three, he didn't blink at the thought of feeding me. It is always a tremendous feeling for me to have a person who isn't "trained" to just give me a bite of something. It's breaking a barrier and two or three people chose to break that barrier and I am so thankful to that. Anyway, when we were going around the circle and sharing what we thought of each other and the general consensus was that they all wanted to be like me. All my life, I heard and felt the need to fit in because I wanted to be accepted. This was the exact opposite. They wanted to be like me. That moment was life changing. Over the course of that week, I was told numerous times that I was an inspiration. It was such a terrific feeling and everybody who truly saw me and they way I choose to live my life is a blessing to me and gave me energy that week.

Day Six (Lets Get Emotional): I was mentally and physically exhausted by the last day. All I could do was cry. Literally. I was a crying fool! Megan had to ask the staff if I could miss the last activity because I was such a wreck. Megan did what was best for me and I think that shows a deep level of compassion and understanding.

I have to thank the LeaderShape staff, they really did work with me and I have a lot of respect for that. Also, Laura was amazing from the time I needed encouragement to attend LeaderShape to the tears at the end! She is a compassionate soul!

After LeaderShape, real life kicked in and I unfortunately got a back brace. Most people who know me know I do not complain but this just ticked me off. Senior year of high school, my doctors and therapists didn't necessarily encourage the back brace so I really thought I'm done with back braces. It came back up when my mother wanted to prevent my scoliosis from getting worse which I love her for but the idea frustrated the heck out of me.

I've had my time to complain and cry about it. I'm moving on. I realized I touch a lot of people via this blog while having to deal with the back brace. I am asking you to commit yourself to do something for your wellness. It can be anything from taking your dog out more frequently to running six miles a day. How will I know? I've created a Facebook group for this. It's about turning lemons into lemonade. Why not straighten my spine while other people do something healthy also? Again, this could be anything. It just has to benefit your physical, emotional, or spiritual health. Please do this! It is truly for your own good!

By clicking this link, you can go to our page: http://www.facebook.com/groups/create.php?customize&gid=128073717225972#!/group.php?gid=128073717225972

If you are not on Facebook, you can either drop me a short e-mail or comment on my blog and I will write your goals on OUR Facebook page. Let's be an inspiration!

Just you guys writing on that wall will make wearing the brace easier! Lets all be inspirations!

All My Summertime Love,

Hannah!

Still Going Strong

I'll say it. It is hard to believe that it's been two years...full of adventure! I have enjoyed every single moment of my first two independent years of life. My parents have been my rock, my assistants have been an incredibly strong support system and my friends have been making me smile since freshmen orientation. It's been crazy and I love that.

Going home for the summer is not as hard as last year. I don't feel like I'm losing anything. Last year, I felt this sense of loss now I see these eight weeks to get re energized for my junior year of college (yikes!). As a family, we have decided to hire an assistant for the summer. I realize this is big on my parent’s parts. Our family dynamic is perfect and they don't want to change that but, at the same time, I am almost twenty and deserve some independence during the summer. I want to thank my parents for understanding this and look forward to meeting another special woman. In addition to enjoying some independence this summer and working at my therapy clinic, I will be attending a week long leadership conference which will be so much fun. And, of course CAMP COURAGE! I'm really excited about both those things.

Before I start summer, I have to say good-bye to a lot of people. I have the greatest family in the world BUT good-byes are very difficult. Saying good-bye to my assistants is always incredibly difficult. They are the ones who I see constantly and in turn, I get emotionally attached. Here is a thank you to each individual assistant:

Kim: She is incredible. She is so strong and I have a lot of respect for her. Kim comes rain or shine and gives each day her best effort with me.

Amanda: Amanda gives up her Saturday evenings to have dinner with me and she and I have the best girl talk ever!

Aislin: I absolutely love Aislin. She dances to the beat of her own drum and I have a lot of respect for her not conforming to society. She understands the job and does the job quite well.

Therese: This young lady is simply incredible! She gets the crises and the tears. One assistant has to! She can comfort me at any time. She is graduating in a matter of weeks and I will miss her.

Abby: She is my sweetie pie. Her heart is full of love and devotion to all in her life and you can't help but love her! She will graduate also and I will miss her.

Annie: Previous posts have spoken to Annie's love and devotion to me. This woman is incredible!

Valerie and Megan: They have been devoted to me from day one. They both have my love. These are the girls that are going to be putting my graduation cap and gown on; I think that says it all!

Along with these young women, there is the student support staff to thank. These people have become like family. I find myself taking my guard down in front of them. Last week I had a complete meltdown and they all comforted me until I was happy. I think they were surprised that I was willing to open up to them like that. It's been a wonderful journey together and I cannot wait for it to keep blossoming!

Since I am almost a junior, I am definitely thinking about post graduation plans. I will say it.

My dream job is to work for the Courage Center (they make Camp Courage). I do want to move to Minnesota and have part of my life set in Minnesota. I have told my nearest and dearest friends this plans before I told my readers because it is definitely a dream in the making. Will this happen after graduation? Probably not. I think the realistic picture is an apartment in downtown Evanston or somewhere nearby my parents because I am very dependent on them when things go wrong. However, you all know how stubborn I am and I will work for Courage. It may be that I find my husband in Minnesota and I can have my life partner with me as I follow my dream. To me, right now that seems like the most practical plan. As my mother said, your husband will be the one person who is as devoted as dad and I are to you. That is the truest thing ever. I thought you guys deserved to know my career dreams.

Speaking of Courage, I will be going for the typical week and staying one extra night for someone very special to me. My Irish guy! Keith's birthday is the night that camp ends. My cousin, Lauren agreed to let me crash at her place that night. I am thrilled because all of our mutual camp friends are going to be there and when I am with them, I have to be their camper (we do have our friend moments at camp though) but to spend a night just being Hannah will be awesome! Thanks, Lauren!

Before I end, I will update you on the gagging. I talked to you about it last May if you don't remember. It's still a part of my life unfortunately. It has made me vomit, that is how strong the episodes can be. My doctor did put me on Mucinex. I'll explain this theory. My mucus is thicker than the average person due to my tongue not being able to move as much as you subconsciously would move it. So, my doctor thought about this fact and thought, well her gag reflexes could suddenly be triggered by my mucus. The Mucinex has helped tremendously with this. I'm not gagging as much. However, with finals and being stressed about grades, the gagging has been a free for all. I mean, on the morning that I received my final Astronomy grade, I was gagging so much that I ended up vomiting all over this REALLY cute outfit I had on and had to change. I will say that this just sucks. And, the most frustrating part is that the doctors still just don't know. They think its part of my movement disorders which I agree with but it's frustrating because I'm in their offices and they look at me like I'm a mystery. It is the most frustrating, disconcerting, maddening feeling in the world. You know, when people stare at me in public, I get it but when my doctors do it, it's just sad. Thankfully, I don't have to see my doctors every day; I have the privilege of being around friends and family who don't care what I look like or what strange things I do.

I think most of you will be pleased at this. I have decided to keep blogging throughout the summer. In June, I'll tell you about the leadership conference and in July, I am going to write about Camp and how it feels to be in my TWENTIES!!

It's been a really great year. This semester has been the most challenging academically but I know I'll come out on top, it's what I do! Elmhurst College, get ready for another year of surprises, laughter and most of all, love! As for the Thompson household and Pathways therapy center, get ready for an amazing summer!

After two incredible years, I am still going strong because of the amazing people that God sends to me and plan to be for the rest of my life!

Lots of Love,

Hannah!

P.S. If you could take a quick second to do the poll, I would appreciate it. It is so I can write to my greatest audience not that all audiences are not considered while writing. Thanks!

Three Brothers

Before I start writing, I must introduce you to three important characters in my life.

Josh: I met Josh the day before classes started freshmen year of college. He is the guy who MUST know everyone. Honestly, getting to know him has been quite the fun ride. I do consider Josh a really good friend. His letters are ÁΣΦ.

Vinny: I met Vinny through the Greek system. I love his presence at functions and he is such the sweetheart. His sister was a note taker in one of my classes and he truly understood the situation after watching me in class. His letters are ÁΣΦ.

Jeremy: I met Jeremy because he was one of my orientation student leaders which seems like forever ago! Then I come to find out he is also a member of our wonderful Greek community! His letters are also ÁΣΦ.

These three guys are pretty much the best of friends. They were meant to be fraternity brothers! And they all happen to be close friends to me. This is where our story begins.

Phi Mu's formal was coming up. Initially, I was planning on going solo like usual but then I was advised by my therapist to ask somebody. Her attitude was "life is short". And I think to myself, I have three close guy friends who I know would say yes-not many girls have that. I'm blessed. I had put effort and time in my friendships with Josh and Vinny so I thought, why not Jeremy? I could show him how grateful I am to have him in my life and I knew he was going to be a really fun date. Too quickly, I realized that our paths didn't cross nearly enough for me to ask him to formal. I decided to use Facebook. I sent him a Facebook message just casually asking him to go. Well, he said yes! We were both so excited. I had my dress because I was going with or without a date! It's the twenty first century, ladies! Anyway, I was really excited. But I had an important question.

I do not like drinking...at all. It's not my disability so much as to pouring something down your throat to get stupid just seems well, stupid. I know what you're probably thinking, boy, her 21st birthday party is going to be so much fun. And you're right; I don't plan on the traditional 21st birthday party. Anyway, I ask him if he drinks to keep it to a minimum. In his reply back, he says, I don't have to drink that night because I'll be having fun with you. Awww! I loved it!

It is the Saturday of the dance. I have an entourage coming over. Two assistants coming as friends, Megan and Abby, Annie who was taking me ,and Brittany, a friend who I have written several times about in previous posts. Megan, one of my friends who is also my assistant does my hair just like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. I have my gold dress on and I am so ready! 6:20 comes and he is at my door in a suit and tie. We greeted each other and then Jeremy politely put up with pre formal pictures.

When we got to the bus, he waited patiently for the lift to take me up then got to the back of the bus as quickly as he could. He put up with the ignorant bus drivers who treated me like a baby and happened to be obnoxious as people could be.

We get there and the place is GORGEOUS! We sit down for dinner and our conversation goes outside of our lives at Elmhurst. I opened up about how I was ignored by my peers in high school. He thought that was impossible and I had to tell him it was true. I told him about camp and Katherine. He opened up about his life back home too. He also told me that when he told Josh and Vinny, they were a little jealous wondering why I had not asked them. Then, he said Josh, Vinny and I love you so much, we would do anything for you. My heart melted at that moment. He continued, "we see you as a sister". It was something I will never forget. It made me realize that I was just as special to them as they were to me.

Jeremy was warned by many that I would dance the entire night and we did! He really got used to my ways to the point that Annie did not do much at all. It was a great night that ended with a slow dance. I was shy to ask at first but after I asked him to slow dance, his response was "as long as you don't touch my butt". I had to laugh. We did figure out how to slow dance.

How to Slow Dance With a Woman in a Wheelchair:

1. Remove all obstacles such as DynaVoxes.

2. He puts his hand around your back

3. With your two free hands, you hold hands.

I include this in the post because a lot of readers have disabilities or know someone with a disability. That is one way to slow dance with your sister, niece, cousin, daughter (although, my dad always gets me up while slow dancing), or anyone else who you may want to share a slow dance with.

Before the night ended, Jeremy impressed me again. It was pouring down rain and I wasn't too thrilled about driving in the rain. Without knowing this, Jeremy runs two blocks to get his umbrella for me. So, before I know it, Jeremy is waiting with the umbrella, already wet, at the side of the lift. It was so sweet. We hugged good night. Needless to say, I had an amazing night.

I adore these three young men as they are. I love how they respect me, my beliefs and let me be myself around them. Vinny and Josh, I promise to invite you guys to the next two Phi Mu functions. You have big shoes to fill though! Can't wait!

I really wanted April's post to be lighthearted and fun. I hope you enjoyed this story. I had a blast writing it! I'll be in your inbox next month to wrap up the school year.

Yours Truly,

Hannah!