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Friday, April 17, 2009

At the End of the Day

The craziest, most thrilling adventure in life is finding love. I mean, countless movies are made about that adventure, how your parents met is probably the most romantic story to you, and we daydream about Mr. or Mrs. Right. Why? Because essentially it's what gives up hope at the end of the day. God, or whoever you may believe in put us on this earth with a natural instinct to find that special someone. Why am I talking about love? Because I found somebody.


His name is Aaron. He is from Camp Courage (anybody surprised?). We met three years ago at camp. He used a communication device and I wanted to check it out. Aaron was quite impressed with my skills on the DynaVox. However, we didn't have any sparks when we first met. I recall the director wanted him to be my mentor. Oh my God! How dare she suggest that I didn't know anything about using a device? I am the queen of DynaVoxes! Not waiting to express the 16 year old tantrum I was currently having in my head, I took his e-mail. I put his e-mail in my contacts and never e-mailed him. I didn't have any contact with him for a year. I go to camp the next year and Aaron bumps into me again and we talk for two minutes, we exchanged contact information. The difference was he had MY e-mail. Sometime, after camp he asks to be friends on Facebook. Eh, sure. He starts instant messaging me which was OK. I get to know Aaron and he becomes a really good friend. Last summer as you will learn, he asks me out. At that time, I only saw him as a friend and had to say no. Time passes and we are pretty much talking daily. So, what happened? He talked about Camp Courage in the way I feel about that wonderful place. I had been thinking about Aaron a lot and that sealed the deal for me. I decided to flirt with him, see what happens. Oh, he picked up on it REAL fast. So, we have a very intense, emotional, but sweet conversation. At this point in my post, Aaron will virtually introduce himself.


Hi my name is Aaron and I am 23 years old. I know she told some of you 22, but what is a relationship without a few miscommunications? I live in the Twin Cities area in Minnesota. I am a guest writer on this amazing blog for a good reason. I go to school at Minneapolis Community and Technical College in downtown Minneapolis studying Human Services. I like my classes. I first met Hannah at Camp Courage, her summer retreat, the first year she came. I was visiting the College Preview class to talk about my experience with classes and such. I met this very outgoing girl there (guess who?) and she inquired me about my communication device. When I told her about the cool features mine had, she got excited. After my talk, we chatted more, traded jokes, etc. I didn’t see her again until that next year, and this time it was around the Camp Courage campfire. We chatted briefly, and exchanged emails and that stuff. We chatted ever since via Facebook and Skype. Last Summer I asked her out, she respectfully said let’s just stay friends, I honored that request and just stayed in touch with her as a good friend. Then in the past few weeks, she had been sending me sweet messages via Facebook, and I asked if she wanted to still be friends, and she replied “I’ve been thinking about us” and I was floored. We have been happy ever since. Hopefully this is what she was looking for when she asked me to do this…


It was exactly what I was looking for, Aaron! I know there is an age difference and I'm not going to lie, I was nervous because society is so critical of romantic relationships and my parents would think and the list goes on and on. Then something occurred to me. At the end of the day, does it really matter? No. Aaron is sweet to me and likes me for all the reasons. Aaron and I talk to each other with a video phone and we understand if something happens and were late because we both face the challenges of Cerebral Palsy. After I had reconciled the age difference with myself, I applied the "At the end of the day" philosophy with my personal life and society.


It is a challenge for me to eat, drink, walk, talk and you all know that the list goes on and on. My assistants help me with these tasks and do a great job with it. However, one to two times a week an assistant will cancel. Whether its last minute or a week notice, I need to find a replacement immediately. It is not a question of "'can", it is simply a major of "how well can I do this task?". How well can I accommodate to their schedules? How well can I do this task? This adrenaline rush drenches my body in energy. My body stiffens with anxiety. Who is going to feed me? Put me to bed? I am now in my element. This is a test where failing is not an option. My hand reaches for the phone and I find someone. Success! I can call myself an independent woman for that day.


Currently, this is my job. I love it because the pay is not in dollars but personal satisfaction. That is why I wonder about people who work in the corporate world. They want to impress their boss or their co-workers not necessarily themselves. They worry so much about numbers, meaningless meetings, reaching the top salary and I don't know those seem worthiness to me. They don't really matter at the end of the day. Your spouse does not care, your children want to play regardless of whether you got that deal or not, and your dog probably wants a walk. If that does not prove my point, answer these questions. Does your spouse hug you and say I am so glad you got that deal? Does your pet love you more when you get promoted? Do your kids love you more if you got a deal that day? No.


I'm not saying the corporate world is necessarily bad but I think WE ALL lose touch with the glory of doing something for yourself. That is what I do and when I overcome the smallest challenge. I have to give myself credit or else I would not have made it through the first semester.


So, I have to ask what matters at the end of the day to you? I know for me it is that my family loves me, I have such great friends, wonderful assistants and that I get the privilege of calling myself an independent woman for one more day.

Kicking Some Butt,
Hannah!

P.S. I was having a really difficult night because of multiple reasons. When I'm having that type of moment, I usually resort to inspirational and happy YouTube clip however, I found myself reading your comments on my blog. They really do make a difference when those moments happen and for that I have to say thank you.